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Archive for the ‘prayer’ Category

Prayer For My Children

God has been so gracious and merciful and heard a mother’s prayers. The children have turned out remarkably despite the deficiencies of their parents! Thank you Lord! I prayed for and with my children every single night for decades often using the prayers of Paul from which this prayer was compiled. You can find the passages as well as a copy of the prayer in this pdf: pauls-prayers.

PRAYER FOR MY CHILDREN


And this is eternal life, that they know thee the only true God,
and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent.
Holy Father, keep them in thy name


May they have spiritual HEALTH…
May their spirits and souls and bodies be kept sound and blameless
until they meet You face to face in glory.
May they be filled with the fruits of righteousness.


May they have spiritual WEALTH…
May they experience daily;
the riches of Your glorious inheritance in the saints,
the riches of Your kindness, forbearance and patience,
the riches of Your glory,
and the riches of Your gracious kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.
Bless them in Christ with every spiritual blessing.


May they have WISDOM…
Give to them knowledge and all discernment.
May they know Your will in order to lead a life worthy of the Lord,
fully pleasing to You,
bearing fruit in every good work,
and increasing in the knowledge of God.
May they know the hope to which You have called them,
may they approve what is excellent,
and may they comprehend
the breadth and length and height and depth of the love of Christ.


May they have POWER…
May they experience the immeasurable greatness
of Your power in us who believe.
May they be strengthened with all power, according to Your glorious might,
for all endurance and patience with joy.
May they be empowered to fulfil every good resolve and work of faith.

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A Broken Marriage

A Broken Marriage <– Click Here for pdf

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Some formerly QF Mom’s have compiled their apologies to QF Daughters. I am not sure that any of my daughters or sons would identify with those apologies or not? But it reminded me that I wanted to post this here for you? I don’t know if you will remember when I gave this to you or not, but I post it here for you with much love. I do not consider myself among the “formerly QF”. I remained QF in the sense that I had as many children as my body could bear and I have no regrets for that. Each one of you are priceless. (Just pray for Daddy and I to get a second wind so we can be good parents to the younger ones!)

Summer 2004

Dear H, D, J, and K (teens at the time of this writing)

I need to tell you about something that my counseling has turned up because it has affected you too.

I knew my mother was pretty non-functional. She spent the year, just before her pregnancy with me, institutionalized for psychosis. She recovered enough to be back in reality to some extent, but wasn’t nurturing. She is attached to things, not people. Last time we visited, I spent a portion of our “vacation” cleaning her house because the social worker said she can’t get around the clutter with the walker. I snuck 10 garbage bags full of mildewed old clothes, some from when I was a teenager, out the window. She was mad at me cause she knew some things were missing..

As a child, my mom didn’t have friends and I was her best friend and confidante, her emotional crutch. She often cried and it was my responsibility to comfort her. She even shared details of her and my dad’s intimacy problems which were beyond my innocent comprehension.

My mother is so profoundly mentally ill that I could be compassionate.

At S* [missionary candidate interview], the psychologist kept pressing me about whether I had been sexually abused and I said no. Now I know that something in my testing was telling him differently. A week or two later, I was talking to my sister on the phone and she told me that in processing through her own recovery, she was troubled about something. She said she used to feel so sorry for me because Mom was so jealous and hostile when Dad would dress me up and take me out as if I was his date.

I developed early and was often taken for 16 when I was 12. My dad bought me a new, immodest wardrobe, dressed me up with makeup and hairdo and took me on dates. He used to go to his condo in Puerto Rico alone for awhile every year. When I was 13, he took only me (and my wardrobe). I was supposed to be there alone with him for a month. He took me to an R-rated movie with full frontal nudity. I was very uncomfortable because I had never seen any woman except my mother. He had pop fiction novels with sexually explicit passages. As an avid reader, naturally I picked up what was there. I was not very happy or cooperative and somehow I made my dad mad and he sent me home after a week.

When I was 14 my dad shipped me to an all girl’s Catholic boarding school.

When I was 18, he married a 22 year old.

During my teenage years, I dressed immodestly and was molested on dozens of occasions by boys and men groping at my private parts.

I told Sandy about my Dad’s treatment and said, “But he never DID anything”. She said, looking a bit angry, “He DID do something.” What my mother and father each did to me is a form of emotional abuse which profoundly affected me.

I immediately realized how it has influenced me with my teens. I wounded all of you by expressing hatred for teenagers. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I love all of you and regret wounding you. It was my own teenage experience for which I was expressing hatred.

Because my boundaries were violated by others, I felt an overwhelming burden to protect you and was exceedingly harsh and controlling when it came to boundary issues.

I have been so intense and harsh about modesty (right standards but bad delivery). I have ranted and raved about R-rated movies. If it had been up to me, we never would have had them in the house. I am still very uncomfortable about it so I struggle, fight, and yell when R-movies are present. I think my behavior may have affected Joanne the most because she is considered “hot” and took an interest in boys so early. I am NOT sorry for setting boundaries which protect you, it would be a failure on my part not to set boundaries. But I have done so in a harsh, angry way and I am so sorry. Because I was so hurt by boys and men as a teen, I think I have subconsciously viewed any boy who approaches Joanne as a threat. For this reason I have failed to embrace Rob and make him feel welcome.

For all of this and whatever other negative impact this may have had on you, I am sorry. And I pray that you will be able to forgive me and not carry hurt in your spirits. May the chains of the sins of the parents be broken!

Much Love,

Mom

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I AM…

Hosea11:4
I led them with cords of human kindness,
with ties of love;
I lifted the yoke from their neck
and bent down to feed them.

Thank YOU, Lord for your tenderness.

Thank YOU that YOU are…
…the Bread of Life Jn 6:35
…the Light of the World Jn 8:12
…the Door of the Sheep Jn 10:7-9
…the Good Shepherd Jn 10:11-14
…the Resurrection and the Life Jn 11:25
…the Way, the Truth, and the Life Jn 14:6
…the True Vine Jn 15:1,5

Lord, you said that
one who comes to YOU shall never hunger
one who believes in YOU shall never thirst…
and you told the woman at the well “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.”
Lord, I ask YOU.. please Lord, may I have LIVING WATER?
Lord, help me to come to you that I may partake of Bread of Life…
LORD, I hunger
LORD, I thirst
LORD, I KNOW YOU are the ONLY ONE who can fill every empty place in my being.
Satisfaction, Life, Fullness is ONLY IN YOU!

Psalm 63
My soul thirsts for You;
My flesh longs for You
In a dry and thirsty land
Where there is no water.
2 So I have looked for You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory.

3 Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips shall praise You.
4 Thus I will bless You while I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
5 My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips.

6 When I remember You on my bed,
I meditate on You in the night watches.
7 Because You have been my help,
Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice.

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